I've been feeling like holy hell for the last few months. I've had a migraine almost every day for too long. I've only had 2 days this month where I didn't have a migraine. There were a few days where I didn't have a migraine most of the day though. It's not all doom and gloom. I've also been able to get some relief from my abortive med (DHE) at lower doses. Unfortunately, I have been unable to function as if I even try to do...
Would like some cheese with that whine?
Yes, I've been a whiney butt. Sulking around the house like the defeated sissy pants I am. I have been beaten by the migraines--at least temporarily. I couldn't sleep last night because my nervous system was in overdrive. HYPER! And preoccupied with the oddest things. Last night I was obsessed with...
Tally of migraines and med bills
It's time again to compile the total number of migraines I've had and the cost of my medical bills so far this year!
Number of days I've had migraines so far this year: 122 Number...
Stupid doc and lots of migraines
Sorry I have been MIA. July was unpleasant. I had 24 days with migraines. I also had a doctor's appointment with the specialist I see for the neurogenic orthostatic hypotension (NOH). In a nutshell, NOH is a partial failure of the autonomic nervous system. My body fails to regulate my blood pressure and pulse correctly. My blood pressure drops in response to various activities such as standing in line, standing up, bending over,...
Scared about talks of cuts to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid
I was so lucky to get Social Security Disability only a few months after I applied. It never occurred to me that I might lose it, though I remember when Reagan cut disability in 1981 leaving people without any income whatsoever. I'd forgotten about it. Now the talks about budget cuts have me scared.
I only get $970 a month, but it really helps. I am supposed to be eligible for Medicare in March 2012. It would be so dreamy to...
Congratulations to South Sudan, a new nation!
The people of southern Sudan have suffered genocide. They continue to suffer atrocities at the hands of the government and the people of North Sudan, but there is now hope that the citizens of South Sudan may be able to live in peace. Today the people of South Sudan celebrate the birth of their new...
Transparent Thursday
1. I've always wanted an afro.
2. And I'd love to sport a beehive.
3. I dislike fireworks. For some reason, they scare the bejesus out of me.
4. I am just giddy that a new season of Big Brother starts tonight.
5. I am also giddy that a new season of Celebrity Rehab has started. Did I mention...
98 migraines and a boatload of medical bills
It's time again to compile the total number of migraines I've had and the cost of my medical bills so far this year!
Number of days I've had migraines 1/1/11-5/31/11: 98 ...
Another genocide in Sudan? Why don't people care?
In "Yet Again in Sudan" Nicholas D. Kristoff opens his column with the following: "The world capital for crimes against humanity this month probably isn’t in Libya or Syria. Instead, it’s arguably the Nuba Mountains of Sudan, where we’re getting accounts of what appears to be a particularly...
Weird Wednesday: The silent crippler
I had scoliosis as a kid. Yeah I was one of those kids with curvy backs that couldn't stand up straight. I was also pigeon toed, but I'll save the glory of that health issue for another post.
At about age 12, the doc made me start wearing a back brace. I say "made" because I was not at all interested...
Back on the low carb wagon
Last summer I participated in intensive outpatient treatment at the Headache Care Center. For 10 days, each day, I met with the doctor, received IV therapy, physical therapy, individual counseling including biofeedback training, and some group counseling. The doctor recommended I switch to a low...
Ewww. Some of the weirder ways people have found my blog
Blogger gathers info about how people find blogs. It tracks what terms people have used in search engines and then were referred to a blog. For example, one way a person found my blog was typing "footie pajamas sock monkey"into a search engine. In other words, my blog showed up in the results...
Happy Father's Day to my Dad!!!
It's hard to know where to start in describing my Dad. As I was growing up, my Dad worked 5-6 days a week for about 12 hours a day. You'd think I hardly ever saw him, but I have so many great memories of things my Dad did with me growing up..
One of the many things I've inherited from...
Depression: running from the black dog
I first heard "black dog" as a reference to depression several years ago from an online friend from Australia. He used to say he was being "chased by the black dog" when he fell into depression. I find it to be a good description of how I experience depression. I feel like I'm trying to stay ahead...
Highway to Hell
I have an appointment to see the migraine specialist tomorrow. Inevitably, the night before I go, the song "Highway to Hell" pops in my head. It really seems like the perfect anthem for these trips.
...
Grateful Sunday!
1. Dictionary.com. I just had to look up "grateful." I kept thinking it was spelled "greatful."
2. Semi-perma-brain fog from having migraines almost everyday. Sometimes it makes me laugh. (For example, #1)
3. Emerald's Cocoa Roasted Almonds. Y...
Migraine journal
I have to admit I get lazy about doing a journal about my migraine attacks. For several months, I've tracked the following info:
What days I have experienced a regular migraine attack which I define as:
The migraine occurs shortly after I wake up
My standard meds (DHE shot + Zofran) are effective.
My pain only rarely goes over 8 on a 1-10 scale with 10 being unbearable constant *!&? pain.
Days I have a migraine...
Transparent Thursday
1. Hmm I'm not sure if "transparent" is spelled/spelt right. I'm having spelling issues.
2. I find it odd that it's illegal to discriminate against a person for employment in the US, but we might regularly discriminate against politicians for their gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, and age....
Weird Wednesday
Yes, that is a sock monkey on the top of the Christmas tree. One of the weirdest things about me and my hubby is that we collect sock monkeys. It just kind of happened; it wasn't something we planned to do. When we first started dating, I told him about this sock monkey I had as a kid. He got me...
Grateful Sunday!
I try to remind myself to do regular check-ins with myself about what I'm grateful for, but I often forget. Maybe if I get into the habit of doing it on my blog, I'll remember!
1. When my hubby is concentrating really hard, sometimes he waggles his tongue horizontally. (Please don't tell him I told...
Tally of medical bills and # of migraines
In one of my previous posts, My medical bill total this year, I explained what my tally in further detail.
I forgot at the beginning of June to update it!
Out of pocket medical expenses from 1/1/11-5/31/11
$1,189 Health insurance premiums 1,401 Medication co-pays 606 Doctor visits 56 Dentist$2,875 Total
Number of days...
Giving up before I even got started
For the second time in my life, I feel like I'm giving up on a career before I even got started. Yet I felt passion about both--I loved reading and writing about the philosopher I studied, Ludwig Wittgenstein. I also loved to read about counseling, the practice, treatments, and theory. And I loved working with people diagnosed with a serious mental illness. With both, I left the field largely unwillingly. Both involved emotionally...
Huh? Didn't you only have one leg last week?
I am very excited I was awarded disability a month after I applied, but I also have mixed feelings about it. It feels so wrong to be disabled at 39. I am having a hard time accepting it. I realize I'm not special and lots of people become disabled at young ages including children. I understand fairness does not come into play in illness, but I am still pissed off.
My mother in law left yesterday after visiting us for several...
MIA
Sorry I haven't been posting. I've been feeling so ill with the migraines. I'm worn out! I got great news though! I was approved for disability! Woot! At least I don't have to worry about money now. I'll be back to posting after I start feeling some bette...
Please play "I like big butts" at my funeral
A few years ago, my husband got me a CD for Christmas called -- oh hell I don't know what it was called, but it was all music about butts. There was this song about donkey butt (eww), "Rump Shaker," of course there was "I Like Big Butts," and "Big Bottom Girls." I was just trying to figure out what it was called and when I typed in "butt music" in Amazon, all this Bach came up. Dumbfounded, I told my hubby about this odd result....
The cost of inaction
Martin Luther King, Jr. stated, "Man's inhumanity to man is not only perpetrated by the vitriolic actions of those who are bad, it also perpetrated by the vitiating inaction of those who are good."
It has been about six months since I first learned of the atrocities occuring in Congo. After reading...
My medical bill total this year
Last year the cost my husband and I paid out of pocket for my medical bills was over $10,000. I have health insurance, and about $2,000 of the $10,000 were health insurance premiums.
This year has so far been cheaper because I have been quite sick and have been unable to get to the doctor. My hubby teaches and now that he is off for the summer, I'll be able to catch up on doctor visits. Another reason my medical bills are lower...
Transparent Thursday 2 (note: I'm grouchy as all get out)
1. I have a very hard time understanding what people with accents are saying. As a consequence, I rarely watch foreign movies or anything narrated by any British people.
2. I'm kind of over the whole natural thing. Especially when people say "I wouldn't use anything that's not natural on my body." Just because it's natural doesn't mean its good. Poop is natural but I don't want to slather it all over my body.
3. People being...
Weird Wordless Wednesday
We got some water at Sam's and Tabasco made the container his new bed:
Looking for more weirdness? Check out:...
Virtual March on Washington
Last week I wrote about the human cost of inaction. Millions of women have been raped brutalized in Congo. They continue to be brutalized without international intervention. Many require surgery to repair the injuries incurred because of the rapes. Please consider joining in by adding your...
Subcutaneous fluid injections for Pandora-blob
Our oldest kitty, Pandora, is 17 now and has a wide assortment of medical problems. She's taken to whizzing all over the place in one of the rooms in our basement. Thank goodness the room has concrete flooring so it's easy to clean. My hubby has been on mop duty to clean it up. Earlier this week...
Weird Wordless Wednesday
Would you be interested in joining a Weird Wordless Wednesday blog hop? Leave a comment if you would!
This week's pic is one my hubby found!...
Happy Mothers Day to my Mom!
Something weird has been happening to me the last couple years. I've become more of a sap every year. I suspect my own aging (I'm 39) and my parents now in their 70's has contributed. I think the chronic migraines has also increased my sappiness. Feeling like I've lost friends, my hopes for a career,...
On this Mother's Day, please help the mothers in Congo
Did you know that the world's most deadly war since World War II is occurring as we speak? This conflict is fueled by the minerals used to create the electronics that are a major part of our daily lives. These minerals, also called conflict minerals, come from the Democratic Republic of Congo. Troops...
Happy Mothers Day weekend to all the moms out there!
I had written a post last week and then was going to post the second part today about why I chose not to have kids without considering the timing. How dumb can I be? Mother's Day weekend? I guess that was why it was on my mind! Earlier, one of the mom blogs I follow had a post today about her struggles...
Transparent Thursday!
I must admit I stole this idea from The Lone Tater blog. Each Thursday she lists a few confessions she feels the need to make. Love it!
1. Although I have 3 kitty pictures on my home page, one passed away a year and a half ago. My hubby and I had Tabasco for 12 years. But I still think of him...
Weird Wordless Wednesday! What do you mean you've never seen a cat eating corn?
In honor of It's OK to Be WEIRD here is a pic of my Weird Wordless Wednesday...
Part Duex! You might be a Migraineur if:
I've come up for more signs that you might be a migraineur if. . It's amazing what becomes difficult after I've had almost daily migraines for a few months. I cannot help but laugh at myself sometimes, so I decided to start a series.
You might be a migraineur if.. . .1. You see a picture of a bear...
I'm coming out of the closet!
I have felt the need to explain myself. As I wander around looking at blogs, I'm overcome with embarrassment. Everyone has kids! EVERYONE! I feel like an imposter. Truth is I have no kids though I do make comments on people's blogs about kids hoping no one notices that I have an opinion but not the experience. Then I think I went too far.
I heard about Mamavation on the UBP11 closing show thingy. Bookieboo was on...
Toilet bowl spiral of yuck
With all these stupid migraines I've been getting, I've found my mind frequently gets into a yuck spiral. (yuck=Why is this happening to me? Seriously, another migraine? Is this really a migraine? Should I have taken medicine? Oh my goodness, it's costing a fortune. I would so die if I had to live in a refrigerator box. I must be close to a world records with the number I'm having. It would be fun to be in the Guiness World Records...
Thirsty for Comments Thursday
It's not a traditional hop where blogs are just looking for followers. Instead hoppers are asked to visit the post that is linked and to comment thoughtfully on the post. I love this! I am very new to blogging, and am still pretty confused about what I'm doing. I would love feedback.
...
New series: You might be a migraneur if. . .
It's amazing what becomes difficult after I've had almost daily migraines for a few months. I cannot help but laugh at myself sometimes, so I decided to start a series.
Jill Greenberg's "Monkey with Headache"
You might be a migraineur if.. . .
1. Hanging up pants blows your mind
2....
My Dad got bit by so many owls over the years
I will admit I am on the gullible side. As a child when my dad came home with cuts from working as a heating and air conditioner repair person, I'd ask him how he got hurt. Inevitably he'd tell me an owl bit him or my mom did. I had never noticed any owls flying around in Florida, but it seemed plausible. (Side note--I am scared of birds. Maybe this is one of the reasons why.) I also never knew my mom to bite anyone,...
Thanks, but I think I'll pass on being pals with a sex offender
Yesterday, I got a big envelope in the mail about the prisoner pen pal program I had signed up for. I sat with my hubby, and we looked through the info. He cautions me when I get taken away with some idea of mine. I tend to be too trusting when I first meet people. I tend to see the good in people to the point of fault. When I worked with parolees and people with drug problems, he knew I would come home many days enthusiastically...
That's right, I beat the piss out of her
First, let me say, this whole blog thing is blowing my mind. In terms of trying to format it, I'm struck stupid. I have tried to put up pictures on the main page but it was all wonky, so it's just going to look like shite until I get myself well enough to figure our html or whatever-the-hell-ml. There...
I'm getting a pen pal who is jail. Yes, I know this sounds like a big bowl of wrong.
At the beginning of the year I followed along with an online spiritual program. This is an annual gathering of people from different wisdom traditions such a Jewish, Christian, Buddhist, etc. (I'm Buddhist.) There are different leaders on the site and people sign up to listen to talks each day from one or more of the leaders. After listening to the talks, people do spiritual practice for about half an hour. When I signed...
Day 3 of a migraine
I'm on day 3 of a migraine. Not a bad one by any means. Pain has been intermittent. I have felt fatigued and nauseous, but I've been able to do mindless things on the computer most of the day. I have been hella confused though. When I went to meditate today, I tried to set the alarm on my phone after 30 min. It's was 1:56 pm and it took me a good 3 or 4 tries to figure out what time the alarm should go off. I set it over and...
127 Migraine Days in the last year
This probably a bad idea, but I added up how many days in the last year I've had a migraine. My total is 127. I think this may have been a bad idea because it's depressing. But I do think it confirms why I feel so frustrated. It also demonstrates how much migraines have affected my daily life and my ability to function. Sometimes people assume that when I say I have a migraine, that I am having a severe headache. Migraines are...
Devastated
OK I've been trying to figure out how to write about all that I've lost in the last weeks. Trying not to sound desperate and worthy of pity though the words I think describes me most are desperate and pitiful. It's not that I don't have so many blessings in my life. I have a wonderful husband who is more than I fear I deserve. I aspire to be worthy of him. At the same time, I tell myself that I am worthy and try to sit with the...
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