Please play "I like big butts" at my funeral

A few years ago, my husband got me a CD for Christmas called -- oh hell I don't know what it was called, but it was all music about butts. There was this song about donkey butt (eww), "Rump Shaker," of course there was "I Like Big Butts," and "Big Bottom Girls." I was just trying to figure out what it was called and when I typed in "butt music" in Amazon, all this Bach came up. Dumbfounded, I told my hubby about this odd result. He somehow knew the conductor for all these Bach albums was a guy named Butt. How does he know these things? He's so weird. Anywho, I love music about butts! They are perfect comic relief for lots of occasions: on my way to take a final exam, feeling sick, being grouchy as all get out, etc.

I think I also like butt music because I have butt envy. I have a pancake butt. It's a curse I inherited from my Dad. I never understood why my Dad has chosen to wear suspenders instead of belts. And I wish I never did understand. The reason became clear as I grew up and my butt refused to grow at all. Wearing a belt becomes pointless if I am trying to keep my pants up. Having no butt, the belt offers no help. Hence, I believe my Dad wears suspenders to keep his pants up. I've never actually confirmed this with my Dad. I might want "I Like Big Butts" and "Big Bottom Girls" played at my funeral, but talking to my dad about his legacy of no-butt-ness would be awkward.


Debbie @ OtRD on May 23, 2011 at 8:13 AM said...

Too funny!! My dad wears suspenders too so does that mean...? Hum?

Rockin' Mama on May 25, 2011 at 1:41 AM said...

AHAHA, oh shit...I too am cursed with the dreadful pancake ass! I always say I need to invest in the padded chonies! My pants never stay up I'm about to rock the shit out some damn suspenders! lol ;)

Alison on May 25, 2011 at 1:21 PM said...

I so can sing the first part of this song by heart since I was a teen. I like big butts... LOL. Thanks for the trip down memory lane!

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