Scared about talks of cuts to Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid

I was so lucky to get Social Security Disability only a few months after I applied. It never occurred to me that I might lose it, though I remember when Reagan cut disability in 1981 leaving people without any income whatsoever. I'd forgotten about it. Now the talks about budget cuts have me scared.

I only get $970 a month, but it really helps. I am supposed to be eligible for Medicare in March 2012. It would be so dreamy to have more of medical bills covered. I have not been able to go to the doctor as much as I've needed to this year, so thus far my out of pocket medical bills so far this year are a little over $4,000. I haven't seen my primary care physician for over a year. I've run out of meds for my dysautonomia because I have not seen the specialist since 11/09. I was due for a bunch of dental work earlier this year and cancelled that. Unfortunately I have a hard time getting motivated to go to the doctor or dentist when I have almost daily migraines. I keep putting off appointments.

I am expected to live on the equivalent of $5.16 an hour. And people want to cut that? I have had over 100 days so far this year when I've had a migraine. I left the house today for 2 hours and got a migraine as a result. This is normal for me. How can people expect me to work? It's already very hard to pay the bills. When the government talks about cutting benefits, people like me, and people much worse off, are the people it will affect. Please speak to your representatives about how you feel about this.

Visit Write Your Representative to find out how to contact your representatives.

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Congratulations to South Sudan, a new nation!

The people of southern Sudan have suffered genocide. They continue to suffer atrocities at the hands of the government and the people of North Sudan, but there is now hope that the citizens of South Sudan may be able to live in peace. Today the people of South Sudan celebrate the birth of their new nation! This is an exciting time for the citizens. A president has been sworn in, they have a national anthem, and on Wednesday the United Nations will discuss whether South Sudan will be part of the United Nations. Their is hope that the people of South Sudan can live in greater peace. 

Unfortunately there continues to be difficulties. Most South Sudanese do not have access to clean water, are illiterate, and do not have medical care. In addition, a border has not been agreed on with North Sudan.  North Sudanese continue to attack South Sudanese over this dispute. Please let the women of South Sudan that you support them in this historic time. 

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Transparent Thursday

1. I've always wanted an afro.

2. And I'd love to sport a beehive.

3.  I dislike fireworks. For some reason, they scare the bejesus out of me.

4. I am just giddy that a new season of Big Brother starts tonight.

5. I am also giddy that a new season of Celebrity Rehab has started. Did I mention that Lindsey Lohan's dad is on it? And Amy Fisher!

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98 migraines and a boatload of medical bills

It's time again to compile the total number of migraines I've had  and the cost of my medical bills so far this year!                      

Number of days I've had migraines 1/1/11-5/31/11: 98                

Number of days I've had migraines from 6/10-5/11: 154                      

Out of pocket medical expenses from 1/1/11-6/30/11
$1,427   Health insurance premiums

$1,882  Medication co-pays

     656   Doctor visits

       56   Dentist

$4,021  Total

In a previous post,  my medical bill total this year, I explained the tally in further detail

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Another genocide in Sudan? Why don't people care?

In "Yet Again in Sudan" Nicholas D. Kristoff opens his column with the following:  "The world capital for crimes against humanity this month probably isn’t in Libya or Syria. Instead, it’s arguably the Nuba Mountains of Sudan, where we’re getting accounts of what appears to be a particularly vicious campaign of ethnic cleansing, murder and rape." He reports that the Sudanese governement has threatened to shoot down UN helicopters. The forces are committing "door-to-door" executions of civilians (including children), committing mass rapes, burning of homes and church buildings, and bombing of markets, mosques, and wells. 

Kirstoff states that Samuel Totten, a genocide scholar, warns that a genocide may be beginning again in Sudan. 

Yet, when I open CNN online, NBC news, ABC news, CBS news, and BBC, there is no mention of Sudan. Libya, Gaza, and Greece seem to warrant top billing for many of the sites. It continues to confound and anger me that news coverage is largely absent for human rights violations of such a magnitude as has been occurring in Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC) and Sudan.  Of course I'm sure there are other human rights violations of similar magnitude in other countries in Africa, such as Somalia, that are also being committed. I was just visiting Medecins Sans Frontieres (Doctors Without Borders), and I learned that Somalis refugees, fleeing conflict in their country, have been traveling to Dadaab, Kenya. Dadaab has the world's largest refugee camp, and it is now full. The camp was designed to hold 90,000 people. It holds about 350,000 people. As one might imagine, access to medical care and food is limited due to the number of people. 

I wonder why I have to deliberately look for news on Africa. Why do major news organizations in USA not cover these topics? They certainly cover other human rights atrocities such as those in Libya. Please educate yourself. 

As quoted on Operation Open Silence's site, Elie Wiesel once said, ". . . to remain silent and indifferent is the greatest sin of all."

Do you want to help or get involved? It's as easy as signing a petition, or contacting the White House through Twitter, Facebook, or email.  Visit Operation Open Silence or Enough Project . They even compose all the messages for you. It literally takes 2 min to take action.

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Weird Wednesday: The silent crippler

I had scoliosis as a kid. Yeah I was one of those kids with curvy backs that couldn't stand up straight. I was also pigeon toed, but I'll save the glory of that health issue for another post.

At about age 12, the doc made me start wearing a back brace. I say "made" because I was not at all interested in increasing my already pervasive awkwardness. I'm not sure what your middle school experience was like, but mine was reminiscent of the Lord of the Flies.  Evidently the brace was supposed to straighten my back. It was this big plastic thing with huge velcro straps that kept it on. It went from under my arms to my butt. I already had a pancake butt so there was no loss there. There was an oval cut out of the front for my boobs. I think I would have been fine without the oval--I did not want my developing body revealed. I had to wear an undershirt with it or the brace would chafe my skin. I won't even go into the way I got fitted for a new brace every several months because that is something I wish I had blocked from my memory. The brace created multiple levels of awkward.

I was already a geeky kid with weird glasses so the back brace did little to increase my confidence. Here's a pic of me from that period of time.

Bless my heart. You can see why I was picked on. Luckily my brace/armor protected me from getting beat up.

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Back on the low carb wagon

Last summer I participated in intensive outpatient treatment at the Headache Care Center. For 10 days, each day, I met with the doctor, received IV therapy, physical therapy, individual counseling including biofeedback training, and some group counseling. The doctor recommended I switch to a low carbohydrate diet. He stated that a very low carb diet (aka a ketogenic diet) has been used for years with individuals with epilepsy whose seizures are not controlled by medication. He stated that similar to a person with seizures, a migraineur has a sensitive nervous system that reacts more powerfully and stays activated for a longer period of time than a person with a normal nervous system. He stated that a low carb diet may help calm the nervous system down. He also recommended this diet because I had signs of insulin resistance (I had high triglycerides and inflammation). These and some other factors also put me at risk for diabetes and heart disease.

At the time, I begrudgingly followed the low carb diet. I ate an average of 20-40 g of net carbs for about 6 months. I had more energy and felt great. My triglycerides dropped 70 points. I fell off the wagon during my birthday (in November) and the holiday season. I didn't get back on the diet until now. Having almost daily migraines, having to drop out of school again, applying for disability, and coming to terms with the fact that I may never be able to work again, I turned to food for comfort. Potatoes, ice cream, fruits, bread, et cetera all helped me feel better emotionally.

On Monday I got back on the low carb diet. I'm craving bread, chocolate, and fruit like nobody's business. One common misconception of Atkins/low carb diets is that they're high protein and filled with fatty meats. It couldn't be farther from the truth. The Atkins literature states that 12-15 of net carbs should be from a list of specific low carb vegetables. This works out to be about 5 cups of salad greens or other veggies a day.

So far, I feel okay but I'm still craving carbs something awful. Ben and Jerry's calls my name. Trying to stick with it!!

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Ewww. Some of the weirder ways people have found my blog

Blogger gathers info about how people find blogs. It tracks what terms people have used in search engines and then were referred to a blog. For example, one way a person found my blog was typing "footie pajamas sock monkey"into a search engine. In other words, my blog showed up in the results for that search. I love sock monkeys and footie pjs so this made me smile.

People have also searched for some weird and disturbing stuff and found my blog. Here is one of the creepier ones. "She likes being beat." Eek and eww. I had written a post about our kitty Pandora who likes being pet hard -- kind of like I'm dribbling a basketball. Me and my hubby call it "a beating" to be silly. I imagine the sicko who searched for "she likes being beat" was disappointed when he saw a silly post about our 17 year old cat. Here's a picture on Pandora on her heating pad and piles of blankets. It really is sad how we treat her so poorly:

Seems my post about how I'd like the song "I Like Big Butts" be played at my funeral has resulted in a number of visitors. I imagine they were quite disappointed when they found my blog. For example someone was directed to this post when s/he searched for 'big butt clap." I have no idea what that means, and I don't think I want to. Other butt related searches that have led people to my site include "donkey butt girls," "dads like big booties," and "I like big butt toons."  I'm glad people with butts have fans. Unfortunately I suffer from butt envy because I have no butt (aka pancake butt) as discussed also in the post about my funeral.

If you blog, what are some of the weirder searches that have led people to your blog?

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Happy Father's Day to my Dad!!!

It's hard to know where to start in describing my Dad. As I was growing up, my Dad worked 5-6 days a week for about 12 hours a day. You'd think I hardly ever saw him, but I have so many great memories of things my Dad did with me growing up..

  

One of the many things I've inherited from my Dad is a love of telling stories. It doesn't matter if it happened last week or 50 years ago, we both love to tell tales. Usually the same ones over and over. I also inherited his love of duct tape. Several years ago, me and my hubby lived in a house where we'd get wasps in the bathroom. We tried all sorts of things to get rid of them. I finally got my red duct tape out and taped all around the window and some spots that went up to the attic. No more wasps! I proudly share such tales with my Dad.

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Depression: running from the black dog

I first heard "black dog" as a reference to depression several years ago from an online friend from Australia. He used to say he was being "chased by the black dog" when he fell into depression. I find it to be a good description of how I experience depression. I feel like I'm trying to stay ahead of depression--trying to figure out when and how it will strike next and trying to prevent that from happening. I barely feel like I'm keeping ahead of it. If I'm caught, it feels like I've been attacked and have fallen. It takes great effort and meds to get back up and am able to get ahead of it.

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Highway to Hell

I have an appointment to see the migraine specialist tomorrow. Inevitably, the night before I go, the song "Highway to Hell" pops in my head. It really seems like the perfect anthem for these trips.

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Grateful Sunday!

1. Dictionary.com. I just had to look up "grateful." I kept thinking it was spelled "greatful." 

2. Semi-perma-brain fog from having migraines almost everyday. Sometimes it makes me laugh. (For example, #1)

3. Emerald's Cocoa Roasted Almonds. Yum

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