Migraine journal

I have to admit I get lazy about doing a journal about my migraine attacks. For several months, I've tracked the following info:

1. What days I have experienced a regular migraine attack which I define as:
• The migraine occurs shortly after I wake up
• My standard meds (DHE shot  + Zofran) are effective.
• My pain only rarely goes over 8 on a 1-10 scale with 10 being unbearable constant *!&? pain.
2. Days I have a migraine attack that do not occur in the morning.
• These are exactly like #1 except they occur after I have exercised, been stressed, left the house, etc.
3. Days I have had a "monster migraine." 
• These are the attacks that have no responded to my standard abortive meds (DHE shot and Zofran) so I took Stadol and Phenergan in addition to my standard meds. 
• Pain is 9-10 most if not all of the day.
• These days I take lots of baths since that is one of the only things that will relax me. 
• I also spend a large amount of time: laying very still in the dark with ear plugs, focusing on my breath, and reciting either Equanimity or Metta phrases. 

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Transparent Thursday 2 (note: I'm grouchy as all get out)

1. I have a very hard time understanding what people with accents are saying. As a consequence, I rarely watch foreign movies or anything narrated by any British people.

2. I'm kind of over the whole natural thing. Especially when people say "I wouldn't use anything that's not natural on my body." Just because it's natural doesn't mean its good. Poop is natural but I don't want to slather it all over my body.

3. People being complacent by not contacting political figures about their opinions about issues. It's very simple to contact politicians in this day and age. Lots of websites that will even write form letters or petitions you just add your name to. We live in a democracy and it only works if people vote and communicate their beliefs to politicians.

4. When I tell people how much medicine I take to stay semi-functioning with my myriad of illnesses, sometime people respond "I don't like to take medicine." Duh. I don't take medicine cause I like it. I take it because if I don't, I get depressed, my blood pressure drops so I faint, and I get even more migraines.

5. When I tell people how much medicine I take to stay semi-functioning and someone says, "You're too young to take that much." Unfortunately my chronic illinesses don't discriminate based on age. Kids and old people get them. I've had migraines and neurogenic orthostatic hypotension since I was 11.

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Toilet bowl spiral of yuck

With all these stupid migraines I've been getting, I've found my mind frequently gets into a yuck spiral. (yuck=Why is this happening to me? Seriously, another migraine? Is this really a migraine? Should I have taken medicine? Oh my goodness, it's costing a fortune. I would so die if I had to live in a refrigerator box. I must be close to a world records with the number I'm having. It would be fun to be in the Guiness World Records book. I sure did love to get them when the book bus came to school. Is my life always going to be like this? This is awful! How does my hubby put up with me. I'm losing my mind! Why is this happening to me?) Around and around I go. I pick up speed and my mind races through the spiral over and over and over and over. 

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127 Migraine Days in the last year

This probably a bad idea, but I added up how many days in the last year I've had a migraine. My total is 127. I think this may have been a bad idea because it's depressing. But I do think it confirms why I feel so frustrated. It also demonstrates how much migraines have affected my daily life and my ability to function. Sometimes people assume that when I say I have a migraine, that I am having a severe headache. Migraines are far more than a headache.

The National Headache Foundation refers to migraines as migraine attacks because migraines affect the body's systems. For example along with the headache, I have increased sensitivity to light, smells, and noise. I get nauseous and fatigued. My ability to concentrate is diminished. I get confused and have difficulty expressing myself verbally when I have an attack. I also experience mood swings. I was so relieved when I found out that emotional instability was a symptom of migraine attacks. I had feared I was losing my mind!

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"Think Positive"

In the first class I took towards a Master of Arts in Professional Counseling, the teacher spoke to us about how counselors should not give advice to clients because, amongst other reasons, it is not helpful. This was a statement that has been repeated many times during my education. Instead a counselor should attempt to see the world through the client’s eyes and use empathy to convey understanding. In giving advice, the counselor would be leading the client to think that the counselor is an expert who knows how to solve the client’s problems better than he does. Instead the client should be seen as someone who is an expert on his life who can solve his own problems with assistance. The counselor may help the client explore other options and possible consequences, but the client holds the ability and responsibility in making his own decisions.

Having chronic illness has given me many lessons concerning how it feels to be given advice. When I tell people I have frequent migraine attacks that prevent me from working, many people give well meaning advice about methods I might use to stop the migraine attacks. Many include possible treatments, supplements, et cetera. I appreciate these sorts of advice giving because although my doctors and I have tried a wide variety of treatments, I know there are many I do not know of that I can try. I am willing to try most anything.

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History

In February 2007, I began experiencing migraine attacks twice a month. Since that time the frequency has increased up to thirteen to fifteen a month. Since February 2007, I have been under the care of various migraine specialists. I have tried several preventative medications, attended physical rehabilitation twice, been trained in two forms of biofeedback, have begun daily relaxation and meditation practice, changed my diet, and entered an intensive outpatient program for migraine patients for 10 days at a clinic 4 hours away from my home. I have only begun to see improvement in my symptoms since June when I attended the multidisciplinary intensive outpatient program, though I still had thirteen migraines in August.

My ability to function has decreased since I began experiencing the migraine attacks. Between February 2007 and February 2008, I left two jobs because the attacks prevented me from completing job duties and, many times, going to work at all. After each job, I assumed that by leaving the emotional and environmentally stressful situations, the migraine attacks would decrease in frequency. (By environmental stress I refer factors that can trigger migraines such as light, noise, and smells.) The frequency of attacks did not decrease when I left these jobs.

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