Huh? Didn't you only have one leg last week?

I am very excited I was awarded disability a month after I applied, but I also have mixed feelings about it. It feels so wrong to be disabled at 39. I am having a hard time accepting it. I realize I'm not special and lots of people become disabled at young ages including children. I understand fairness does not come into play in illness, but I am still pissed off.

My mother in law left yesterday after visiting us for several days. I had migraines almost every day she was here. I wanted to watch tv and movies with her or watch the cats go ballistic over squirrels in the bird feeder outside our living room even though these activities increased the severity of my migraine attacks. It took me a few days to realize the activities were doing so.


Quite frankly, I'm worn out. I feel like crap when I have the attacks and for a day or so after the attacks. I haven't felt good for more than a day in months and very rarely have a felt good for even a day. I'm so sick of trying to take care of myself and take it easy.

My brain is beyond boggled with all these migraines and it's driving me batty. A man came to our door last week and offered to buy one of our cars that we had been meaning to get rid of for about a year. Being chronically ill allows me to put stuff off indefinitely even though I shouldn't. As I showed him the car and explained what needed to be fixed, I could have sworn he said he had one leg. He hopped around instead of walking. I remember being confused because his pant leg looked normal. It wasn't flapping in the wind or anything like I would expect it would if a person was missing a leg. I was befuddled when he returned after a week and walked normally. He even helped push the car! I guess he must have said there was something wrong with his leg rather than him only having one. These instances of mis-memory are quite confusing!